


Ringing in the New Year

by orphan_account



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers, 新・光神話 パルテナの鏡 | Kid Icarus: Uprising (Video Game)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen, New Year's Eve, New Year's Party, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22070500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mewtwo and Dark Pit wanted to ring in the new year quietly. Unfortunately for them, an appearance by “Doctor” Mario throws a wrench in their plans.
Kudos: 3





	Ringing in the New Year

Dark Pit trudged along a worn dirt path in the moonlight. A lush green forest loomed before him. He yawned as he stretched his arms. To him, today felt like an ordinary Tuesday. To everyone else, well… It was New Year’s Eve.

He threw a glance behind him upon reaching the treeline. The party was in full swing in the clearing that he was walking away from. He could see people haphazardly guzzling drinks in its bright lights, blissfully unaware of how that would affect them in the morning to come. Some of the younger Smashers ran around them, yelling nonsense at each other. He could have sworn that he spotted his twin brother among the latter group, but he didn’t care to investigate further.

The noise of the party quickly faded behind Dark Pit. It didn’t take long for its lights to recede either. Any tension remaining in his bones went away when he found himself alone in the void of the forest. 

He let out a sigh before continuing his way down the path. An owl hooted from somewhere in the darkness. _Things_ scurried along the forest floor, seemingly ignoring the black-winged angel. He paid them no attention and came to a stop.

There was another light ahead of him. He lifted a hand over his eyes and squinted at it. He must have grown too accustomed to the shadows during his walk.

“Hey,” he whispered, “are you there?”

A figure floated into view. Dead leaves crunched when it landed on the ground in front of him.

“You made it,” they said. “Feel free to take a seat by the fire. I roasted some Magikarp.”

He rose an eyebrow. “Magikarp?” he asked. “We’ll be eating Pokémon?”

The figure tilted their head. “Does that bother you?” they asked back. “It is the natural order of things back in my world.”

“Well, no…” he began to say.

“I have also cooked the tails of Slowpoke,” they added. “Would that bother you more or less than the Magikarp?”

“Honestly,” Dark Pit said, “I’m just surprised.” 

He went into the clearing. Unlike the party he had left, there wasn’t much in it. The party had a large bonfire, while his friend here built a fire meant for a camp. Small sticks hung over the small flames. They roasted what he assumed to the Pokémon meats.

“For a moment there,” his friend said, “I thought you would say that Viridi would not allow you to eat animals. I did not want my efforts to be for nothing.”

Dark Pit sat down on a log by the fire. “I don’t think she cares as long as you’re not a _human_ eating her creatures,” he said. “But I do sometimes I wonder why I ever asked her to lend me the Power of Flight during my battles. I've always hated when gods try to impose their views on me."

His friend floated down next to him. Mewtwo, everyone called them. “You are not wearing your…?” Mewtwo’s question faded away. They studied the boy’s face.

He patted his hair. “Nope,” he said, smirking. “I left my laurel crown back at her temple on purpose."

“Did you now?” they said, sitting down next to him. “I do not imagine that she will be pleased when she finds out.”

“Why should I care? She probably already has. And, technically, I don't serve her."

Mewtwo gave him a small smile and focused on the fire. “The food is almost done roasting. If I remember right, Lucina said that she would not be joining us this year. The “doctor”, however…?” He turned to stare down the forest path.

“He's probably busy.”

They looked away from the path. “I suppose so,” they said, sighing. “It may just be you and me ringing in the new year.”

“We could go back to the main event." In his head, however, he thought, _I guess._ He honestly preferred being away from everybody. It was how he kept his sanity in check.

They shook their head. “I do not care for most of the other Smashers,” they said. “I am only here because I have nothing else to do with my time.”

“And so you celebrate every New Year’s Eve like this.”

“Yes.” Mewtwo lifted their paw. A psychic glow enveloped one of the roasting sticks. It hovered over to Dark Pit. “Here. Take this.”

Dark Pit took the stick from their magic and lifted it up. He considered it. “Are you sure this is safe to eat? I don’t shove random foods down my throat like my brother.”

They nodded. “Go ahead,” they said.

Dark Pit opened his mouth and descended on the Slowpoke tail. He sank his teeth into it, intending the rip the skin off before he properly dug into the meat. He pulled up slightly, pulling the skin with him, and—

“Am I late?” an Italian voice called out. “I brought you some food from the other party.” 

A short man in a red hat and blue overalls came racing into the clearing. He carried several containers of who-knows-what in his arms.

“Ah, yes,” Mewtwo said. “The “doctor”.” They stood. “It seems that he’s forgotten his coat.”

Mario grinned at him. "Come on,” he answered, shaking his head. “Nobody cares about that anymore, and they’re busy roasting the new Smashers anyway.”

Dark Pit’s mouth twitched in the smallest of smiles. He remembered the first year he was invited to take part in _Super Smash Bros._ Roasting the newbies was a regular part of their New Year’s Eve celebration.

* * *

_“I see his wings and I think of burnt chicken. I wonder how they would taste if we ate them.”_

_Pit, who stood at the back of the pack, cringed. He pressed his wings against his back._

_Kirby eyed the angel sitting on the roasting stool. “Poyo?”_

_Dark Pit glared back at the small pink puffball. “Don’t think about it,” he mouthed._

* * *

_“I keep looking at him and thinking he’s Shadow.”_

_“No,” Palutena said, shaking her head. “I see him as another Pit. They’re both nerds.”_

_“Lady Palutena,” Pit groaned._

_She smiled at him. “Oh, Pit,” she muttered to him. “You’re a cute_ _nerd.”_

_Pit’s face burned red. He slid back into the crowd._

_“And last I checked,” she said, turning to address everyone, “he has an affinity for bows and staffs, not guns.”_

_“But you could say that he likes to go in with “guns blazing”, eh? Eh…?”_

* * *

_“Uh… I wonder if his pituitary gland works…? Otherwise, uh…”_

_Dark Pit just facepalmed._

* * *

He snorted at those old memories. Well, it could have been worse. The Smashers could have made fun of how he didn’t have any time to create his own moveset. But that, he knew, would have been hypocritical. There were quite a few people among their ranks that had copied other’s fighting styles over the years.

“How long will you be able to stay with us this year?” Mewtwo said, moving out of Mario’s way.

“We’ll see,” Mario said with a chuckle. “Everyone’s having fun roasting those _Dragon Quest_ guys. They might do it right up until midnight.”

“Did anyone go after that Sans costume?” Mewtwo asked. “Just curious.”

Mario sighed. "Our audience has been cheering more _for a costume_ than the Smashers lately. That’s been a sore point for them.”

“I don’t usually pay attention to the audience,” Dark Pit said. “They tend to call me by that… Nickname whenever I score a win.”

“I seem to recall you winning against a Sans costume fighter some time ago,” Mewtwo piped in. “The audience booed you for that.”

“Again, I don’t pay attention,” he repeated. “I don’t really care.”

“Well, they do,” Mario replied. “Ever since I allowed that costume, I’ve been getting piles of hate mail from the other Smashers. Poor Isabelle and I can’t keep up with them anymore.”

“Perhaps you should hire some extra hands,” Mewtwo said.

“I’m sure it’ll pass,” he said. “…Eventually. We’re gonna work double-time on it after the holiday’s over.”

The three of them silently sat by the fire. Mario, as it turned out, brought a variety of foods and drinks from the worlds of other Smashers, yet all Dark Pit could focus on was a certain drink from his own.

“A Drink of the Gods?” Dark Pit muttered, picking up a pinkish-reddish bottle with purple wings stuck to it.

“I have never had one before,” Mewtwo said. “How does it taste?”

“Very sweet,” he answered.

“So a Slowpoke tail if it were a drink?”

“How would I know? I haven’t gotten the chance to eat one yet.”

They nodded. “Well,” they said, “go ahead.”

Dark Pit lifted his stick again. He bit into the tail. The flesh came off easily, as did the meat. He sloshed it around in his mouth.

It did indeed taste sweet, like the Drink of the Gods. A lot like it, in fact.

Mewtwo tilted their head. “Hm?”

Dark Pit swallowed his food. He glanced their way. “It’s good,” he told them. "I kinda want to use a condiment with it.”

“A... Condiment?” they questioned.

“I’ve got some ketchup,” Mario spoke suddenly.

Mewtwo spun around to face him. “Ketchup?” they said. “You do not eat Slowpoke tails with _ketchup_!”

“Mustard, then?” he said.

 _“What?!”_ The shock on their face was priceless. “You cannot be serious. The only acceptable condiment for a Slowpoke tail is—”

Dark Pit rolled his eyes at the ensuing petty argument. He planted the tail on a stick into the soft earth beside him. He uncorked his Drink of the Gods and chugged some of it down.

“You are a fool,” Mewtwo hissed, glaring down at the portly plumber. “What could have I expected from the man who lets his princess get kidnapped every other week?”

 _“Every other month,”_ Mario replied. He stood straighter. He gave them a sharp look in the eye. “Mewtwo, I don’t wanna argue about condiments of all things this close to midnight. It’s not gonna get us anywhere.”

“Slowpoke tails are not meant to be eaten with ketchup!” they shouted.

“I get it already!” he yelled. “Stop!”

Mewtwo exhaled deeply. Their eyes narrowed. Then, the legendary Pokémon issued a strangled cry.

They leaped on top of Mario. The force of their body slam was enough to send them Mario rolling into some nearby bushes.

“Pittoo? What’s going on?!”

...Whelp. They were busted. Standing at the entrance to the clearing was Dark Pit’s twin brother.

Princess Peach and Luigi ran up from behind Pit. They yelped when they saw their friend and brother being held up by Mewtwo’s telekinesis.

“Let him go!” Princess Peach screamed, dashing after the tussling pair. She whipped a frying pan out of nowhere.

Mewtwo spun around. Their eyes widened when they saw the woman in pink. There was a flat, black disk flying at their face, and—

Fireworks went off in the other clearing. The cheers of Smashers cut through the air.

Dark Pit crossed his arms. He stared over at Pit, who watched everything with the dumbest look on his face.

“Hey there, Pit,” he said. “…Happy New Year?”


End file.
